We are the coolest, funniest, most creative Effete Snobs on the internet. We are world wide web renowned Intellectual Sluggards. It is our goal to make you either convulse with healthy, left-wing, liberal pinko laughter or to collapse in sickening, self-righteous, right-wing, reactionary condemnatory spasms. We are two progressive, reformist, broad-minded, civil-libertarians who met in the sixties on the campus of Hofstra University on Long Island. We are enlightened, tolerant and open-minded free-thinkers. We are known as Berf and Froydo. Click on our names below to see our photos.

Born of an Italian immigrant family which dominated southern Italy's mafia, Froydo, in his early youth, was steeped in a moral tradition abhorrent even to pond scum. He saw promises broken and people taken advantage of by any means available. He grew up with people who reverenced nothing except devising ways to put your money in their pockets. He was given the perfect background to understand today's political realities in America.

At the age of thirteen, he and his best friend, Tunado, decided to make their bones and rob the town bakery. Froydo and Tunado knew that the Monday after Easter would be the biggest take as all the townspeople would be celebrating the end of Lent by gorging themselves on exquisite pastries in the name of God. So on an early Monday morning after Easter in the late fifties, Froydo and Tunado knocked off the bakery. They took several hundred thousand lira, several boxes of Cannolis, and a specially marked tray of the most favored pastry, Zeppole di San Guiseppe.

Unbeknown to them, the Zeppole had been blessed by Padre Pio, a priest who was well known for his great spirituality and mystical powers. Being churlish thugs, they cleaned off the tray and started on the Cannolis. The effects of blessed Zeppole were almost immediate. While talking about how they would spend their stolen loot on wine, sluts and gambling, they began to notice a glow over each other's heads. Then they began to feel guilty, and the conversation turned to the best way to make up for what they had done. They ended up giving the money back and working for the baker for a year for free. After that, Tunado founded the order of the Sacred Zeppole and Froydo has been teaching meditation all over Europe and North America. Click below to see a photo of Froydo in 1970 at Hofstra.

Berf received his name when, in the sixties, he ate twenty-seven marijuana brownies before he entered a campus wide hot dog eating contest at Hofstra. As you might imagine, the combination of cannibinoids with excessive quantities of processed pork and beef and inexpensive Mexican beer, contributed to an event not unlike the pea soup scene in The Exorcist. Despite his bloated and highly intoxicated condition, Berf, ever the left-wing champion, managed to direct the effluvium at a large group of obnoxious, war mongering ROTC persons, who were there abusing the anti-war protest contingent.

Needless to say, having their smart, perfectly pressed uniforms covered in berfluvium took the wind out of their sails and they, no longer looking like Dougie Neidermeyer clones, skulked off to a pandemonium of jeers. In addition to winning the hot dog eating contest, Berf became a campus hero. The exact location of the event has been memorialized at Hofstra by a statue of Berf that looks like Moses about to smite the Egyptians with a long cable of hot dogs strung over his back and chest. Many visitors from that era can still be seen wiping tears off their cheeks at the memorial.